I'm afraid to take a step towards you because I don't know what'll happen.
I don't want to go there, it's the unknown,
But you're so pretty, and my mind's just blown.
I want to be able to say that you're the one,
But inside me, I know it isn't the way things are done.
I'd love to pour out my heart for someone to snatch.
More specifically, throwing it out for you to catch.
Cause your voice is so soothing to my little ears,
And you don't mind it when I tell you all my fears.
Is it even possible to make this work? Of course not.
How does it work when talking is all that we've got?
I don't think you know how much I think about you.
I don't even know why, it's just what you do.
I know it'll all end up in flames in the end,
And I can't let that happen to my precious Godsend.
Maybe if I'm willing just to throw it all away,
Maybe if breaking up would eventually become okay.
Only then, could I ask you out to be the girl for me.
I don't plan on that happening, so we'll just wait and see.
Monday, October 31, 2011
slightly egotistical (with pictures)
So I'm here again writing a blog post to pretty much, a girl I don't know -yet- instead of doing my work. Late at night, as well. Because that's my routine. My phone got ran over on Thursday, and I was about to talk to that, but what I really want to talk about is the newfound relationships I have with people on gaia. I've gotten to the point where I'm really interesting to talk to, and there are several people who'd love to talk to me at one moment. This is really egotistical of me to say, but I really feel the love right now. I used to be so plain and boring. I'd have only one or two friends and they'd have other friends that they'd talk to more than me.
I'm a little irritated with myself because I keep stacking up new friends to talk to without little to no concern about what this means to old friends. They'll get pushed back into a shelf where they get forgotten. And some of them are really sweet too, it's easy to forget them if they're aren't as funny or quirky as the newcomers, I do feel quite bad. Even for just a moment.
This brings me to authenticity. Authenticity is an adjective. It is a form of authentic, how authentic is something? Well, how close to the nature of its origins is it? Authenticity is a gauge between people's ideals and their actions. Authentic people act according to the ideals that they've formed. Other less authentic people act despite ideals contrary to what they believe in as well as people who act with prepackaged ideals. I don't feel like I remember what I had to say about this. good job jason.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Life is too short to hate (An old post)
I have several entries that are unfinished, I decided to finish this one, past Jason always gives future Jason ample amount of unfinished business.
"It's been a while hasn't it?
-A little context here-
For a semester now, I've been enrolled in the evermandatory Rhetoric classes. And oh Great flaming fireballs- wow is all I have to say.
I'm just so mature now. I'm the same person, yeah, but no longer is the world black and white.
It's a technicolor fusion of perspective, because no matter how black and white something can be, our eyes aren't.
I used to have so many views, so many criticisms, such a naive way to do things. It's either you want an abortion or you don't. You love him, or you want to leave him. I can read in between the lines now."
Apparently, old Jason was watching "two hours of a sadistic woman on youtube", not only can I not remember what old Jason was talking about, I'm also slightly amazed at what past Jason has to say.
He says that "life is interesting but also frustrating", he said that "she just poured out all her narrow-minded views of the world!". Jason of the past apparently agrees with a lot of what she has to say, but does not approve in her message. He challenges her, "What's your point? he asks" Are you trying to change the world? "Do you do it by insulting the people?"
He adds,
"With that in mind, with everything into context. Everything that's happened so far, everything that someone feels, why or how, molds into shape their perspective. To think that by discarding their viewpoints will change anything, to call them stupid over their beliefs? You won't get anything done"
So I ask myself, does the world turn like that? Do you hate people for having their perspective, do you hate people for how they grew up? Is this why we do not kill children? Because we see the potential to influence them in our vision? It hurts so bad when I see a twisted mind. A sadist who enjoys people's pain, or someone who enjoys being right.
Life is all about priorities, is your priority really to make people more like you? To think more like you? You are not perfect. Not you, not I. Not even close to it.
Remember that your actions speak louder than words. You may not think you're perfect, but you act like it. We could all use a little humbling and it would be nice to respect other people's opinions. I need a lot of humbling when it comes to that aspect. I am incredibly harsh towards people who seem to have opinions that weren't reflected upon well enough. (AKA HATING MICHAEL JACKSON FOR HIS SKIN CHANGE WITHOUT KNOWING WHY HE DID IT. OR HATING REBECCA BLACK BECAUSE SHE'S MEDIOCORE, actually this is a rant for another entry- why do people follow the crowd?)
I could potentially add anecdote upon anecdote in my stories if I'd write down the things that happened to me on a daily basis. I don't, though. It's a shame.
The world, it's fickle. I hate that.
Me? I'm fickle.. and I also hate that.
"It's been a while hasn't it?
-A little context here-
For a semester now, I've been enrolled in the evermandatory Rhetoric classes. And oh Great flaming fireballs- wow is all I have to say.
I'm just so mature now. I'm the same person, yeah, but no longer is the world black and white.
It's a technicolor fusion of perspective, because no matter how black and white something can be, our eyes aren't.
I used to have so many views, so many criticisms, such a naive way to do things. It's either you want an abortion or you don't. You love him, or you want to leave him. I can read in between the lines now."
Apparently, old Jason was watching "two hours of a sadistic woman on youtube", not only can I not remember what old Jason was talking about, I'm also slightly amazed at what past Jason has to say.
He says that "life is interesting but also frustrating", he said that "she just poured out all her narrow-minded views of the world!". Jason of the past apparently agrees with a lot of what she has to say, but does not approve in her message. He challenges her, "What's your point? he asks" Are you trying to change the world? "Do you do it by insulting the people?"
He adds,
"With that in mind, with everything into context. Everything that's happened so far, everything that someone feels, why or how, molds into shape their perspective. To think that by discarding their viewpoints will change anything, to call them stupid over their beliefs? You won't get anything done"
So I ask myself, does the world turn like that? Do you hate people for having their perspective, do you hate people for how they grew up? Is this why we do not kill children? Because we see the potential to influence them in our vision? It hurts so bad when I see a twisted mind. A sadist who enjoys people's pain, or someone who enjoys being right.
Life is all about priorities, is your priority really to make people more like you? To think more like you? You are not perfect. Not you, not I. Not even close to it.
Remember that your actions speak louder than words. You may not think you're perfect, but you act like it. We could all use a little humbling and it would be nice to respect other people's opinions. I need a lot of humbling when it comes to that aspect. I am incredibly harsh towards people who seem to have opinions that weren't reflected upon well enough. (AKA HATING MICHAEL JACKSON FOR HIS SKIN CHANGE WITHOUT KNOWING WHY HE DID IT. OR HATING REBECCA BLACK BECAUSE SHE'S MEDIOCORE, actually this is a rant for another entry- why do people follow the crowd?)
I could potentially add anecdote upon anecdote in my stories if I'd write down the things that happened to me on a daily basis. I don't, though. It's a shame.
The world, it's fickle. I hate that.
Me? I'm fickle.. and I also hate that.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
It's been almost more than a year and a half since my last blog post.
A little birdie told me that they were waiting for me to post something new.
I'm curious as to who this person could be, how did they find this little empty space. This little pebble in a sea of stones.
I picked up blogging as a young adult in middle school. In many ways I had little to no inhibitions in writing. Unashamed and blindly egotistical, I wrote as much as I wanted. Sloppy and embarrassing at best, I ranted over anything I wanted. It didn't have to have a point other than the fact that I was angry over something or at the very least something that bothered me. My friends enjoyed my blogging if they liked me in real life, otherwise they were probably bored of my blogs.
Truth be told, I wrote my last entry full of anger and frustration. Nobody wants to see that- Correction, everybody wants to see the turmoil. I created this blog as a window for a caring person to peer into my soul. I wanted to make both my feelings open and easy to get, yet hidden away, enough so that not just anyone could see it. I wanted to reward someone who could last 15 minutes for me with a goldmine of information to the inner workings of my soul. I wanted to feel special.
I've found somewhat of a calmer mind nowadays. I am no longer the timid boy with a fiery heart. An angry bird with no guts to fight anything bigger than itself. I like to see myself as a lazy lion. I am a lot more chill nowadays. I have a lot more self confidence now than I had a year ago.
Here's a little secret. In a bittersweet way, there is someone I'd really like to be following me, a certain special someone. It'd be a bittersweet thing though, I'm not exactly impressed with my old entries. Do you know I'm chronically unimpressed by entries created by my past self?
A certain special someone. Even now, as I inch closer to girls, any girl that manages to help fill the void, I can't help but think about you. I've never asked you out, do you know why? I don't really know. I've fished around for dozens and dozens of excuses. A lot of them are really good too. This may be an over exaggeration, but the if you're crazy about someone like I am, I doubt any reason is good enough. You just... want to do something stupid.
I want to do something stupid. But I can't, does that mean I love you less? cause I can't bring myself to do it? Or could it mean I love you more, that I'm willing to sacrifice a little blind stupidity.
For little Mr or Mrs Birdie. Where did you find my blog? I'm very curious. I don't write blogs that much anymore. And I write them sporadically in my irl journal, xanga and a plethora of other places. I wasn't kidding when I said I was trying to resist being a temptation whore.
I skype, facebook and pretty much every medium known to the standard interwebber (I don't twit, that shit's dank). w h o i s e a r l (with no spaces) is my skype user. ;3
Comment back little birdie <3
A little birdie told me that they were waiting for me to post something new.
I'm curious as to who this person could be, how did they find this little empty space. This little pebble in a sea of stones.
I picked up blogging as a young adult in middle school. In many ways I had little to no inhibitions in writing. Unashamed and blindly egotistical, I wrote as much as I wanted. Sloppy and embarrassing at best, I ranted over anything I wanted. It didn't have to have a point other than the fact that I was angry over something or at the very least something that bothered me. My friends enjoyed my blogging if they liked me in real life, otherwise they were probably bored of my blogs.
Truth be told, I wrote my last entry full of anger and frustration. Nobody wants to see that- Correction, everybody wants to see the turmoil. I created this blog as a window for a caring person to peer into my soul. I wanted to make both my feelings open and easy to get, yet hidden away, enough so that not just anyone could see it. I wanted to reward someone who could last 15 minutes for me with a goldmine of information to the inner workings of my soul. I wanted to feel special.
I've found somewhat of a calmer mind nowadays. I am no longer the timid boy with a fiery heart. An angry bird with no guts to fight anything bigger than itself. I like to see myself as a lazy lion. I am a lot more chill nowadays. I have a lot more self confidence now than I had a year ago.
Here's a little secret. In a bittersweet way, there is someone I'd really like to be following me, a certain special someone. It'd be a bittersweet thing though, I'm not exactly impressed with my old entries. Do you know I'm chronically unimpressed by entries created by my past self?
A certain special someone. Even now, as I inch closer to girls, any girl that manages to help fill the void, I can't help but think about you. I've never asked you out, do you know why? I don't really know. I've fished around for dozens and dozens of excuses. A lot of them are really good too. This may be an over exaggeration, but the if you're crazy about someone like I am, I doubt any reason is good enough. You just... want to do something stupid.
I want to do something stupid. But I can't, does that mean I love you less? cause I can't bring myself to do it? Or could it mean I love you more, that I'm willing to sacrifice a little blind stupidity.
For little Mr or Mrs Birdie. Where did you find my blog? I'm very curious. I don't write blogs that much anymore. And I write them sporadically in my irl journal, xanga and a plethora of other places. I wasn't kidding when I said I was trying to resist being a temptation whore.
I skype, facebook and pretty much every medium known to the standard interwebber (I don't twit, that shit's dank). w h o i s e a r l (with no spaces) is my skype user. ;3
Comment back little birdie <3
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